Rendered speechless

This blog hasn't been updated since September, and unlike my last prolonged absence, it wasn't due to fulfilling my obligations to the Victoria's Secret Angels.

In fact, I just grew tired of my own voice. Not writer's block, really, as my unsent letters to Anne Hathaway continue to pile up on the desk. It's been more of a hiatus. I am going to try to update much more often from now on.

The holiday season has begun. This year I'm keeping my wish list short and sweet: I don't want to be drafted into a war with Iran. It's not that I don't appreciate the Persian people... indeed, their women are some of the most beautiful in the Middle East. I just really hate getting sand in my underpants. Not to mention I might run off with a member of Ahmadinejad's harem and complicate the situation even more! Oh, wouldn't my commander's face be red?

I'm going to close with a quote from an old, dead white guy: "We have seen the enemy, and they are hot."