
Below I've outlined my new schedule. Feel free to borrow from it if you find yourself without a job to fuel the economic engine that is America. Which was probably built by Toyota ...
9 AM - Rise and shine! Check TMZ to make sure no celebrities died while I was asleep.
10 AM - Begin job search online. Screen out ads that want photos along with the application. Fool me once ...
11 AM - Ponder what a man's relationship is to his work, and whether he can stay proud while living off the government.
12 PM - Cheetoh time!
1 PM - Practice writing name with different titles, like "Greg Sidor, Asst. CIA Director," and "Greg Sidor, Pastry Chef."
2 PM - 4 PM - Spruce up the resume with more powerful adjectives, less offensive verbs.
5 PM - Yell "It's quitting time, boys!" to puzzled squirrels outside window.
6 PM - 11PM - Crunchy Cheetoh time!
Keep checking back for more chuckles and guffaws! Best of all, they're free!
No comments:
Post a Comment