Jesus is my Job Coach

I'm not very religious, but one thing you can't argue is that Jesus Christ knew how to trade-up in the work world.

Starting out as a humble carpenter, he managed to achieve the title of Messiah by age 35. Granted, his dad helped him get the job, but is this any different from most powerful people?

The difference is, of course, he actually had to work, and died for our sins instead of landing gently with a golden parachute. That last part I'd like to avoid.

What I'm getting at with this possibly sacreligious entry is that the unemployed of the world need to start searching for jobs in unexplored fields. I am looking for editorial, Web, or marketing work with the hope that a good opportunity comes my way. I'd also offer to reach high objects for Kim Jong Il.

I feel capable of trying new things, and though I don't anticipate gaining millions of followers, I think JC had the right idea when he left home and lived up to his full potential.

Please address all complaints to:

Dick Cheney
c/o The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500

Because why not?